


The Relatively Easy Seduction of Steve McGarrett

by awesomehairdays



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-29
Updated: 2012-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-11 00:50:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomehairdays/pseuds/awesomehairdays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kono wants Steve. And Kono always gets what she wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Relatively Easy Seduction of Steve McGarrett

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything; all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).

···················

The house seems too quiet now, with Danny finally getting a place of his own, and it's putting him on edge. He'd almost gotten used to the constant chatter of obnoxiously cheerful infomercials until insane hours of the morning, Danny's grumbling about the waves and Steve's torture device of a couch. Now he wakes up too early, goes for long swims, generally tries to delay going into the office because the cleaning people are there at that point and there's this one lady who throws him pitying glances whenever he shows up before seven. Today he makes some breakfast, washes the dishes carefully, wipes down the counter then puts everything away neatly, looking around listlessly for something else to do before sighing and deciding to go get dressed. He'll go mad if he sits around any longer, anyway.

When he gets to HQ the cleaning crew's gone, and he exhales in relief as he heads to his office, figuring he'll catch up on some paperwork. He goes to open the file on his computer, realizes he's drawing a complete blank on the password. Shit. He looks at the clock, reasons it's not too early really, because Kono's probably up surfing or something by now, so he decides it's safe to call her.

She answers after the first ring, sounding out of breath. "Kalakaua."

"Hey, Kono, it's Steve." He pauses awkwardly, because Kono's not his secretary or anything and if he wasn't so distracted he wouldn't have to call her up at odd hours of the morning to ask for tech support. So you know. He feels pretty bad about this. "Hope I didn't wake you."

"No, brah, I was up." She laughs, still sounding weird, her breathing kind of heavy. "Go ahead."

"I just wanted to—What are you _doing_ , exactly?" He asks sharply, for no good reason. It's just—he's off his game already, and the heavy breathing is kind of distracting.

"Jogging." Kono says, laughing again. "Why? What did you think I was doing?"

Steve opens his mouth to say something, anything, but then he thinks of Kono, in bed with someone, stopping to take a call and feels ridiculous. His silence is telling, and Kono laughs at him.

"What, you think I'd pick up during sex?" She asks incredulously, because one thing about Kono is she's not afraid to call him out on his bullshit, except for that whole thing with Fryer and that doesn't really count because they both like to pretend that never actually happened. "Talk about an ego." She mocks. "I mean, don't get me wrong boss, you're important and all—you're just not _that_ important."

"No, that's…" Steve trails off, clears his throat nervously, tapping his fingers against his desk. "I just…" This is not working at all.

"Yes?" Kono prompts, and he thinks he can hear her smiling. He's glad his complete befuddlement is amusing someone, at least.

"You know what, never mind. I'll just—I'll talk to you later." He decides on a strategic retreat, hangs up. He puts his phone down, leans forward to cradle his head between his hands.

"I am such a fucking idiot." He announces to the room, because it seems like that's worth noting.

···················

Steve is strongly opposed to chocolate as a matter of principle, but he hasn't actively wished it would disappear from the face of the planet until just now. He tugs at the collar of his shirt absently, keeping his eyes carefully focused on the TV as Kono lets out another moan.

She's eating a chocolate soufflé thing Danny bought her as a bribe for offering to cover all his paperwork so he could leave early and go pick up Grace, and she's making indecent noises that Steve is doing his best to ignore, if such a thing is possible.

She does it again, a low moan of obscene satisfaction, as if she can't help it and come on, she has to be doing that on purpose, right? He looks over helplessly, watching her mouth as she licks her spoon clean and trying not to fidget.

The door to the break room opens, Chin walking in, and Kono looks up before Steve has time to avert his gaze. She quirks an eyebrow, looks down at her half eaten soufflé and then back at him.

"Oh, sorry boss. Would you like some?" She asks innocently, holding it out for him, all politeness, and Steve's mouth gets dry even though she's probably just talking about the dessert. He stares at her for a second, stupefied, and then unfreezes, taking the small bowl mechanically. He tries some hesitantly because his stupid staring got him into this mess and now it would be too weird to back out, so.

Yeah. It's just…chocolate, and more chocolate and just—no. Yuck.

He makes a noncommittal sound, goes to hand it back to her, but she's leaning towards him, one of her fingers brushing the side of his mouth and then, before he can even process this, she's licking it clean, holding his gaze.

"Can't let any go to waste, right?" She smiles playfully, taking the soufflé he's been holding out like an idiot from his hands. He swallows nervously, staring at her in mild disbelief, because yeah. She knows exactly what she's doing.

···················

He's grabbing a beer with Danny, trying to get him to talk about how he's been handling the Rachel thing, because Danny seems to have fallen into a state of rigorous denial and Steve suspects he'll just snap one day without warning and for once he won't be the one hanging people off buildings. So far, Danny has talked about Grace's school play, complained about the claustrophobic elevator in his new building and then about Hawaiian weather, which—predictably—led to a ten minute rant on one of his favorite subjects, mainly surfing and the beach and his crippling dislike for both.

Steve's phone buzzes, and he checks to see a new text, Danny not even bothering to stop his recitation of a long list of _perfectly_ sane reasons why sand should be outlawed. It's from Kono, Steve notes with some trepidation, because lately they've fallen into a pattern of her doing things to fluster him and—mostly succeeding.

_If you come over tonight I'll let you use the handcuffs on me…and that's a promise ;)_

Case in point.

Steve can feel his eyes get wide, his mouth falling open so he's gaping at his phone incomprehensively, willing his mind to start working again so he can try to figure out what just happened.

"Steve?" Danny calls, apparently noticing his distraction. "Hey, Steve. Why are you turning red, babe?"

Steve doesn't hear him, keeps staring at the screen like he's expecting the words to, I don't know, magically rearrange themselves into something that makes a remote amount of sense. When the phone buzzes with another text he almost drops it, he's so startled.

_Sorry, boss._ This one reads. _Wrong number._

Wrong number.

Wrong fucking number.

As in, hey Steve, sorry to get your hopes up, fuck off and bye now.

Steve makes a strangled noise and keeps staring at the phone, wondering what he did to deserve this.

···················

They're all gathered around the break room table, eating take out and studiously neglecting the paperwork for the case they just wrapped up. Lori is talking about some old case she worked on when she was with ICE, Steve only nodding half-heartedly in regular intervals to keep her going. Chin gets up to leave, saying he's got plans with Malia, and he can see Danny bite down on the urge to make a snide comment about how whipped their friend is.

"You need a ride, cuz?" Chin asks, looking at Kono.

"Naw, brah. It's fine. Steve will give me a ride." She announces with certainty, even though it's the first time Steve's hearing about this. She turns to him, raises an eyebrow. "Right, boss?" She asks pointedly.

"Uh, yeah." He manages, not looking a gift horse in the mouth and all. "Sure, of course." He stops talking, because he's sure he's in danger of sounding a bit _too happy_ with this development.

"I like how you still call him boss when you're the one giving out orders." Danny remarks pensively, as if this is a trick he'd like to learn. Yeah, that's all he needs at this point. Kono giving Danny free lessons in shamelessly manipulating him.

They get up to leave, Lori throwing them puzzled glances, and who the fuck even cares what the new girl thinks as long as he gets to first base tonight.

···················

He invites himself into her apartment when it becomes obvious that she's got no intention of inviting him in herself, because she's spent weeks torturing him and he's not just driving off with nothing to show for it, alright?

She grabs him a beer then settles in next to him on the couch, the definition of casual, making cheerful small talk and slowly driving him insane. He puts his beer down on the coffee table decidedly then leans forward, cups her face and kisses her, interrupting her mid-sentence even though she doesn't seem that surprised. She smiles against his mouth, kisses him back lazily, as if she's got him right where she wants him and isn't that nice, and it pisses him off because this is all some kind of game to her or something, seeing how wound up she can get him before he snaps.

He presses her back to the couch so she's trapped under his body, kisses her urgently until she stops smiling and starts reaching for him, trying to bring him closer and fuck first base okay, he's going for the fucking homerun and when in hell did he become a fucking cliché with the sports metaphors he doesn't even know. He unbuttons her jeans, gets her underwear down to make way for his fingers and she swears loudly, nails digging into his arm, calling his name and yeah, not so fun on that side of that equation, is it sweetheart?

He undresses her frantically and she pants something about a bed but if she thinks he's moving right now she is fucking delusional, okay, like literally needing a prescription and the couch will just have to do. He leans down to kiss her again, and she's out of breath by now, a dazed look on her face that makes him feel a bit better because he's not the only one affected here. He braces a hand on the arm rest, the other low on her back to angle her hips and then drives himself inside—she arches her back, bites down on her lip, scrambles to get a grip on something because they're moving the fucking couch, literally moving it across the floor, he's not even making this shit up. He gives another thrust and the couch groans under them, Kono laughing breathlessly.

"I don't think—" She tries, before his mouth cuts her off, lips pressing against hers demandingly. "I don't think the couch will hold." She pants when her mouth is free again, and she's raising her hips to meet his and who the fuck cares about the furniture at a time like this?

"I'll buy you a new one, just—please. Stop. Talking."

Kono is surprisingly cooperative after that.

···················

They show up together at work the next morning, Steve still dressed in the same clothes as the day before and Danny decides he just can't, in good conscience, let that slide.

"This, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but this? Looks suspiciously like a walk of shame." He points out snarkily, very amused. Steve raises an eyebrow at him, as if to ask, really? Because he's actually not ashamed at all but Lori is sitting right there and though they try to pretend otherwise, they all know she's a walking tape recorder reporting faithfully to the governor. Kono appears unconcerned with all this, pouring herself some coffee and then coming back to hand him a cup before leaving to walk to her desk as if there aren't two to three people scrutinizing her every move.

Steve takes a sip of the coffee, tries not to cringe at the taste when he realizes Danny must have been the first one here today. He looks at his partner steadily, hands in his pockets, trying to think of something to say.

"Mind your own business." He manages finally, nodding at Lori as he walks by her on the way to his office. Danny follows after him, not giving up.

"Hey, partners, remember? Your business is my business. Come on, spill." He presses, rubbing his hands together like a kid on Christmas morning and looking giddy at the promise of gossip. Steve looks over Danny's shoulder at Lori, who's very determinedly trying to pretend she's not listening in on this conversation and sighs.

"What, I can't have a private life? You know, a private life, that we don't talk about, like all of you have?" He asks, pointedly paraphrasing something he's sure he's heard Lori repeat a few times herself. He sees her go very still and drop her head, looking chagrined, then he glances over at Kono, who's the only person in here who appears to be working.

"Get back to work." He concludes loudly, giving Danny a look that promises they can talk about this later. Danny catches on, _finally_ , some detective he is, and throws his hands up, backing away.

"Fine, fine, have your private life, see if I care. See if I tell you anything again." His partner exclaims dramatically, winking at him and walking off.

Steve goes into his office, closing the door behind him, when his phone buzzes. It's a text. From Kono. He glances over at her again, and she looks very absorbed in whatever's on her computer screen, the picture of professionalism. He still hesitates before opening it, given her history with text messaging, and-what do you know? There is nothing professional about this text.

_Are you busy tonight? I thought we'd finally try those handcuffs…_

Steve rushes to answer that yes, please, let's try the handcuffs, it's a date when his phone buzzes again, another text.

_Oh, by the way? You owe me a new couch._

···················

The end.


End file.
